Kelly's Not Crazy

Stuff I care about. Seriously.

  • 6th August
    2011
  • 06

The High Scores sketch comedy presents “Emergency Procedure” - live from Peoples Improv Theater (The PIT), 3/28/11.

  • 22nd July
    2011
  • 22

From: Appia, Janey Janey.Appia@7-11.com

Date: Fri, Jul 22, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Subject: Store Number S1234 Consumer Case 1107220462 requires attention

Dear Ms. Van Valken:

We do apologize for any inconvenience or disappointment regarding the
7-Eleven Slurpee Day promotion.  We would be happy to send you some
Slurpee coupons.  May I have your mailing address?

Janey Appia
Manager, Consumer Affairs

… how do they know I require attention?!

  • 21st July
    2011
  • 21
  • 19th July
    2011
  • 19

The High Scores sketch comedy presents “Maiden Name” - live from Peoples Improv Theater (The PIT), 3/28/11.

  • 19th July
    2011
  • 19
  • 13th July
    2011
  • 13
  • 12th July
    2011
  • 12

To: Marketing.Department@7-11.com

Date: Tue, Jul 12, 2011 at 1:16 PM
Subject: Free Slurpee Day?

Dear 7-Eleven Marketing Team,
 
Every year I look forward to participating in Free Slurpee Day.  Since I live in New York City, convenient 7-Eleven locations aren’t that easy to come by.  Imagine how thrilled I was when one opened up mere blocks from my apartment, on Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint!  I go in there often for coffee, snacks, affordable adult beverages, and other 7-Eleven-related treats.
 
I saved up my excitement all day to get a free Slurpee on my nightly after-dinner walk.  This particular night, my walk was delayed until after dark due to TV addictions like the Home Run Derby and a new episode of The Bachelorette (don’t judge).  After taking a long stroll around the block on a scorching July evening, I was ready for my frozen treat!  I walked in and politely asked the clerk which size would be complimentary, wherein, he told me that he stopped giving them away at 9PM and they had run out of “mini” cups anyway.  I pouted in disappointment, asked if I could have a free one anyway, to which he rolled his eyes and turned me down.
 
Based on marketing materials, I was under the impression this promotion lasted all day on the Slurpee’s birthday of July 11.  I am confused as to why I did not receive this promotion, whether or not you had the correct size cups in stock. 
 
Per your website, I tried to submit my complaint under the store-specific form, but that link does not appear to be functioning at this time.
 
Regards,
 
Kelly Van Valkenburg
Brooklyn, NY

  • 28th June
    2011
  • 28

The High Scores sketch comedy presents “Blood Test” - live from Peoples Improv Theater (The PIT), 3/28/11.

  • 28th June
    2011
  • 28
  • 23rd June
    2011
  • 23
I like to point out my zits to people so they know that I know that I have a zit.  This both illuminates the fact that I have a zit and makes me feel better about having one.  

I like to point out my zits to people so they know that I know that I have a zit.  This both illuminates the fact that I have a zit and makes me feel better about having one.  

  • 15th June
    2011
  • 15
  • 15th May
    2011
  • 15
  • 15th May
    2011
  • 15
  • 15th May
    2011
  • 15
  • 15th May
    2011
  • 15

The High Scores sketch comedy presents “Friday Facebook Survivor” - live from Gotham City Improv, 12/3/10.